just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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