Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
