I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
