You work out of a Hotel?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
