do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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