No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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