Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
