The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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