There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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