I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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