hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
