How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
