We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
