Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize