shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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