i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
