so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
