i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
