READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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