My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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