Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
