I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
