how do flat chested girls get laid?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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