I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Pooping to opera.
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