instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
