Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize