Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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