you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
that is very illegal...i love you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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