just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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