tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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