We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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