the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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