Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
