The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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