sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
