I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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