If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
