you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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