i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
