party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
