Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dick very happy bro
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
