well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
