Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
