1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
