just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
