thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
