I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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