is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
