i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize