I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
