i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm both gender and math confused
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
