its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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