Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
