operation harelip BJ is a go
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
