I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
