you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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