I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
