I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
