I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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